i quit

For someone who was terrified of change growing up… I have changed course so many times in life. The first few times, it was HARD.

I remember the first time I ended a relationship (granted.. it was the ONLY time I walked away from a serious relationship).. it took me a couple years. A COUPLE YEARS!!! To not only realize it was what I needed to do and get CRYSTAL CLEAR about why.. but to build up the nerve to do so… because I wasn’t breaking one heart.. I was breaking my own as well.. it was (to this day) one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

But I am so glad I did. Because I could not grow in that relationship.

The next few times I have changed course, let go, and taken first steps in a new direction.. were also hard. Because when I put so much energy, time, effort, and love into something it’s so hard to write it off as a loss.

But here’s the thing. IT IS NEVER A LOSS!!

I have had to continually remind myself that. Even still.

I was a dancer. I quit.
I was in love. I walked away.
I was a server. I quit (THANK GOD).
I worked at a flower shop. I quit.
I sold insurance. I never really started.. but still.. I quit.
I was a birth doula. I quit.
I tried birth photography. I quit.
I wanted to teach childbirth education. It didn’t work out.
I learned how to encapsulate placentas (yes.. I did). I never did one myself.
I was(am) a postpartum doula. (But it’s not my forever). I will walk away when that income is replaced.
I was a newborn photographer. I quit (except for returning clients).. It’s just not where my energy is going anymore.

I thought about trying a million other things.
I’ve spent so much money on trainings and certifications for jobs and skills I never used, or quickly quit.

But it has all lead me to where I am at this very moment. Without each of those explorations I wouldn’t have known if it was for me!! How do you know if something is right for you or not if you don’t try it out?

I have kicked myself in the ass for some of them.. for the money “wasted”.. and it’s so easy for us all to do that. If you aren’t using your degree, or you’re like me and changed directions a million times.. I get it. It’s hard. But remember that it was part of your journey! you had to try that path to see if it was for you, and it lead you to your current path which will take you where you need to go.

lets stop beating ourselves up for our “failures”.. lets let go of that guilt.. lets stop worrying about what it looks like to other people. It is our own journey, nobody else’s, and we will do what we need to do to get to where we’re heading!

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