Connections are hard to make, yet that’s the number one thing we all seek in this life.
Growing up I never had a group of friends. I never belonged to a clique. I was never invited to group adventures or events. I’m sort of a loner, because that surface shit doesn’t interest me. Although, it would have been nice to have a group to count on to always hang out, adventure with, and go to shows with.
Instead I found drinking and party buddies when I was in college, and they were people I worked with.. it doesn’t get more shallow than that, because as soon as you leave the job or quit partying they all go with it. Back to square one once again, which gets lonely.
Over the years I’ve collected a friend or two, here and there. They don’t really know each other and they all live in different states scattered all over the country. And usually we don’t even have much in common.. except for our willingness to go deep. It doesn’t matter how different another person is from me… if they’re willing to go deep, and connect on a soul level.. they’re in… forever. I don’t let go of my friends. I keep in touch. I travel to visit. I reach out and check on them. Because they’re hard to come by for me, and these people are my soul family.
Not having the same group of friends since childhood has its perks though.. it really pushed me to find myself, to figure out who I am. It pushed me to go out into the world, completely alone, and make connections. Real ones. Deep ones. True, soul level connections. I wouldn’t have many of these friends today if it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t have ever needed to. I’ve found that many times if I go out with friends, I don’t meet anyone new. We stick to that safety net of the familiar, and there’s no need to venture outside that bubble.
We’re also more intimidated to talk to people when they’re with others. Strength in numbers right? I mean I know this is true for guys too, they don’t want to walk up to a group of girls or even just two girls to talk to one of them. They think it’s more intimidating than just walking up to one. Same thing with a group of friends at an event, a single person doesn’t want to face a group of friends, they want to meet one or two, it’s easier to make real connections then.
The most meaningful connections I’ve made in life where when I got out of my fear, social anxiety, and perceived limitation of being alone.. and I went and did what I wanted to do, all by myself, and I was open to talking to strangers. Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. So go out and make some real connections, you never know how important a stranger could end up being to you.